When you have done the Felt Sensing and With-Sensing (Focusing and Listening) Training (or if you’ve taken a similar Focusing course with someone else), you will be able to do Focusing and listening (Felt Sensing and With-Sensing) with someone else who has also knows the process, in a reciprocal partnership. In principal it should be possible to have such a partnership with anyone who’s mother tongue you speak.
To make a partnership go as smoothly as possible, and to respect it as a Focusing (Sensing) partnership as opposed to it being a regular friendship conversation, there are some guidelines:
- Anything that we share with each other during the course is confidential
- Anything that comes up in a Sensing Partnership remains confidential – this also means that we will not refer to the content of another person’s Felt Sensing session during our group discussion time or otherwise
- When you are Felt Sensing you might find it helpful to narrate some aspects of your life situation or your inner experience, but there is no obligation to do so. Let it be up to your inner experience to let you know whether it wants to be narrated or not.
- The essential element of the Felt Sensing process is for you to be in touch with your own in-the-moment experience as it unfolds. This can be done at any point without speaking if that is what feels right for the process.
Time sharing and keeping
- We respect each other’s time, and take care to always divide the partnership time equally
- The Felt Senser chooses to use their time however they wish and follows their own inner sense of rightness
- The With-Senser, or when more than two the observer, keeps the time, and checks what kind of time signal the Felt Senser would like before the end, at the beginning of a session
- It is not the responsibility of the With-Senser/Listener to direct the session or to make something happen, only to keep the Felt Senser company and to provide a kind, accepting, non-intrusive and welcoming space, without agenda
- The Felt Senser can choose to pause or end the session whenever they wish
- Take care to leave a little time between, as you shift between roles
Pace, resonating and pausing for the Felt Senser
- When you are Felt Sensing, take it at your own pace and pause often to check that you are being with your inner world in a light and kind way. If not, step back a little so that you can reconnect with an engaged but spacious acceptance of all that’s there
- What arises in Felt Sensing is frequently unexpected and may feel tender, delicate and precious, like a fresh new shoot just peeping above the ground. Be aware of the risk of unintentionally trampling on these new shoots – both in others and in yourself – especially in the first few minutes after a session
After one Felt Senser’s session has ended:
- The With-Senser takes care not to comment on the content of the Felt Senser’s session afterwards and outside of the session
- As Felt Senser, check carefully whether it feels right to talk about your own process after the session
- Always leave a respectful, silent space after each person’s turn
- There is nothing dangerous in your inner world, but if apprehension or anxiety arise as you turn towards something, be gentle with the anxious place – acknowledging it kindly and letting it know you hear it – and never dismiss anything or try to push past it. It may well prove to hold something very helpful or precious when you listen to it and give it space. The Felt Sensing process is beautifully self-regulating when we make space for all that’s there without taking sides or pressing for any kind of outcome
- If you as Felt Senser encounter something that feels too scary, or something blank, or you have weird or surreal feelings, allow yourself to check if it would be better to open your eyes and remind yourself of what your sitting on, the room you’re in, and take a big step back. You might have encountered something that needs you to be at a further distance from it