The Joys and Perils of Guiding a Focusing Partner – 12 week online advanced course

Practice, explore, and exchange with others what it’s like to be a relaxed and yet involved Focusing Partner.
Both Carl Rogers and Eugene Gendlin have pointed out that we human beings are so used to being told what to do, growing up: in school for years, with parents and other “elders”, by teachers and by rules and legislations. As a result, we might also have been encultured into thinking that the only way of learning and growing is to be helped and told, and hence that listening and helping means we have to tell and advice the other person.

In this course we will explore the traps, the joys, the pros and cons of “stepping out of the way just about enough“, as a listener and guide in the Focusing Partnership.


  • Struggling with insecurities about listening and guiding in Focusing partnerhsip?
  • Not sure when to be silent and when to say something back?
  • Worried about guiding too much or not enough?
  • Scared your Focuser will ask you for help?
  • Have partners who suggest to you to do what you are already doing?

This course is for you if you:
– …are feeling insecure about guiding in Focusing partnership
– …want to deepen your listening and guiding skills as a Focusing partner
-…want to know more about what and how to suggest when your Focuser seems stuck or asks for help
-…have been away from Focusing for a while and feel the need for some refreshing of how to partner
-…ususally find it better if your Listener is silent, but would like to try out having them say things back

One of the strengths (and maybe perils) of Focusing is that as the listener, we can sit back and let the process take its course, and as Focusers we can finally (maybe nervously) take more charge and get to know our own inner voice and next natural steps.
There is (“supposed to be”) an underling trust in the process, the knowing of the body, rather than the knowing of the outsider/listener.

So what, then, when we’re supposed to “guide”, “suggest” and be “helpful” to our Focuser anyway?

In my experience, it takes a lot of courage and willingness to be vulnerable and not-knowing and willingness to be corrected as a listener to someone else’s process.


It also takes keen attunement – it’s like stepping into a field of tension between being supposed to/wanting to help, and being supposed to/wanting to “step out of the way” and just listen.

On the one end of the continuum we might end up taking too much charge, and on the other end, we might end up seeming aloof and dis-interested, and then there’s all of the stuff in between: like nervousness, fear, shame, over-confidence, deep insecurity etc.


Contents and goals of this course

We will start by going back to the basics of silent listening, and advance from there, trying out, then sensing, reflecting and sharing about the qualities of each of those “skills”, elements or “steps” in listening in a Felt Sensing way (see more details below).

As a result of the course I hope that you will feel more secure in each “skill”, and that your own, unique quality as a listener will emerge and/or be strengthened and solidified.

I also hope that you, both as Focuser and Listener will feel more confident in taking vulnerable daring steps in the shared listening space. The Listener will feel more confident in being “corrected”, and be more attuned to letting the unique process of the Focuser guide your Listening and your Guiding.

Prerequisites and more info

Prerequisites for this course:

  • Focusing and Listening Skills certificate, or
  • 4-5 leves of Focusing and Listening/Felt Sensing and With-Sensing Training, or
  • the PFP-award plus extensive partnership practice,
  • or equivalent, with a Certified Focusing Professional (CFP)

Online course (Zoom)
12 weeks. 3 hours each week

Minimum 8 participants, maximum 12


Goals:

  • To become more daring as a Focusing Listener
  • To feel more confident with guiding and not guiding
  • To become more secure in giving feedback into the shared Listening Space
  • To become more attuned to letting the process teach you

Topics:

  • Silent listening and acknowledging sounds
  • Reflecting of words, tone of voice, pace and timing
  • Gestures and listening for “the more”
  • “Pure” guiding moves
  • Attunement and letting the process guide us

Teaching methods:

  • Theoretical sharing
  • Trying out in pairs
  • Sharing, sensing and discussions in small groups
  • Presenting to the big group
  • Sharing, sensing and discussions in the big group
  • Partnership between classes
  • For helpers: Trying out with clients between classes

Dates and times for this course:
12 Mondays (Skip June 21) May 10, 17, 24 &31, June 7, 14 & 28, July 5, 12, 19 &26, August 2
Time: 18.30-21.30 CEST, click link to convert to your time zone

Prices and booking:
Deposit: NOK 500,- (non-refundable, payed upon registering)
Early Bird: NOK 5000,- (until a week before the course starts)
Regular: NOK 5400,- (to be paid two days before the course starts)
(Click on a price to convert to your currency)